Enter my Human mind IF YOU DARE!

Monday, January 18, 2010

The Negative &The positive

THIS GIRL..... Is like a lose cannon

She can be a BITCH; just doesnt give a fuck

She has anger issues, insecurities and hopes that one day
somoeone would love her for who she is..

But how can she expect someone to love her is she
can't love herself?

She Stresses alot, and doesn't know how to handle it

Instead she gets defensive and lashes her anger out on everybody
thats in her path

She finds making people she cares about upset interesting..

Only because she wants them to feel the same way she feels
but worse..

To her, its showing that SHE CARES

To them, they think shes crazy

But if they dont get mad or argue back
it shows her that they DONT CARE

Can't take productive critasisim cause she feels
everyone has their flaws so why change?

But thats just the NEGATIVE

Shes beautiful, intellegent and fun to be with

Her heart is not exactly cold yet, and shes very loyal

She keeps it real 24-7 even if her friends cant handle it

Shes uses the talent that god gave her very well

And she LOVES to show affection to others.

And thats the POSITIVE

THIS BOY....Is a hurting soul wanting to be loved

Hes spoiled, stubborn, & doesnt show his feelings,
or maybe he just doesnt give a fuck about ANYONES feelings

He claims he likes THIS GIRL, but doesnt show it..

Instead, he ignores her phone calls, and talks to her when
he feels like it

Maybe THIS BOY and THIS GIRL have some simalaries but
expresses them in different ways..

Maybe he does those things because he wants her to hurt like
he's hurting deep inside.. From a distance..

He wears a mask to hide his emotions

But thats just the NEGATIVE

In person this boy can be one of the sweetest, affectionate guys
you can run into

He smiles often believe it or not,even tho it doesnt show in

And he listens... The mask is off, but only whens he's comfortable

And thats the POSITIVE

THIS BRAWD... Is like a leech tryna suck up everyones happiness
cause she thinks it would make herself happy

Shes lost in her own sorrow, unhappy with herself..

She wants affection so bad, but doesn't know where 2 find it

Would do whatever to get it tho, she ignores the consequences

You ever tried looking within yourself?

She claims she wants to end her life, but hasnt done it yet..

Maybe she says that cause she wants people to care or show sympathy for her

Shes Envyous....

But thats just the NEGATIVE

Deep down THIS BRAWD has potential to be a friend

When her insecurties arent involved she can be a down ass chick..

Shes talented and very observant, not to mention shes pretty

She will give you the clothes off her back if needed

And thats the POSITIVE

THIS CRIB... Is like prison

It stinks,everyday is a NEW problem

If its not the toilet being clogged, it's the walls leaking

Theres ALWAYS something wrong...

Ha! the lights are off; guess nobody paid the bill

Hmm the fridge just broke; guess we gotta use the cooler again

Its cursed..... This God forsaken house

The only complex on the block that doesnt experience
the sunny sides of things

But thats just the NEGATIVE

She has somewhere to rest her head, something to watch tv

And somewhere to eat

Smh theres people out there that dont have none of the above

She has somewhere where she can experience Fun Family Nites,
Smoking Sessions, &Drinking games

"Is it really THAT bad?" she claims... Naaaaaa!

And thats the POSITIVE

THIS LIFE....Is like a roller coaster with broken tracks...

Just when you least expect it, you take a deep plunge into failure,
more time she doesnt even kno how to escape

Was she brought into this life to fail? Is this her purpose?

Its like it never gets better.. Is it a test?

And if it is when will she pass?

Sometimes she just wants to end it, but then what?

Whats LIFE after DEATH? Sometimes she wants to know..

But thats just the NEGATIVE
She woke up to see another day..

She has enough air in her lungs to take a pull from her spliff

She gets to see her beautiful family well and healthy

And she can even sees her self in the mirror, smiling cause
she healthy, breathing, and thinking..

Best of all she can LEARN from the mistakes she made in life

And she can correct them..

And thats the POSITIVE

Monday, January 11, 2010

To that special somebody

Why do i feel this way for you?
Is it your tatts, your style or maybe its ya mood

Yea you get on my nerves most of the time,
but thats fine cause i gotta make you mine

Ya poems, warm embrace...
Ya touch puts a smile on my face

But theres more to you isn't it?
My heart quivers when i see you jus a bit

They say Aquarius tend to be articulate,
When you dont get your way you catch a fit

God i wish i can taste those heart shaped lips
It tingles....

Yea u fucked her so? What does that mean i
cant have you to myself?

When you act like that toward me it's like i get
slaped in the face, it welps

It hurts so bad but feels so good
If i can take away the pain that you've endured i would

I'll treat you like a REAL woman should...

Umm yea right there daddy, you always kno my spot
The way you groap my waist is making me hot

You say your a Hippie, well make me your Hippette
Dig ya nails in my side like you use to,

GOD your making me wet..

But i live here and you live there, so that complicates things
Unfortunately that doesnt corrupt the joy that you bring

I just wish you could show that you care,
I told you i would never hurt you, i said I'd be there

But you stay with that brick wall to gaurd you
How am i suppose to cope? What you want me to do?

Theres a saying that says somethings you like are not always good for you
You mean like poison?

Well if liking you is wrong, then i dont wanna be right
People get hurt papi thats life, But that doesnt stop us
from having HOT,WEIRD sex all nite

Come i wont bite...

One day our love will be like precious roses you have nothing 2 fear
Butterfly kisses and heart filled nites PINKY SWEAR.. XOXO


This emptyness that i feel inside makes me question myself why? Why can't I have a man that
loves me for who i am, I can be wifey i swear, i know i can.

But these issues one has with one self always complicates things. Didnt you say you loved me? But yet you claim we could never be?

So what if i have an attitude sometimes i dont GIVE A FUCK, don't mean to be rude but i have anger
issues with my past, i can work on it, we can make it last

Lonely nights tossing & turning my bodies yerning for your touch,

I told you i have insecurites i didnt want to rush

But No! Your sexy wa
ves and handsome face lured me in, I thought you would of took me under ya wing & fly me out this world of sin

But instead of heaven you took me to hell,in this battle of lust we both fell,

Now i missed my period for the month of Febuary, this cant be i refuse to open my eyes and see,

The thought of me carrying your seed? How do you feel about that?

God i wish i can take
everything back!But its to late now belly getting big, until you told me you dont want me to have your kid.......

Im lost now.... what to do? Who can i turn 2?

Thought you were my boo..

Can't talk to mommy cause she wants a grandchild, you want me to get an abortion?

DAM thats foul. But i want my baby cant you see that? "But i don't want it" he claims

and thats a fact.

he already had a kid but whats one more to love?

Its a gift that's been given 2 me from up above

18 years old, who wants to be with a babyfather that doesnt even want his own child?

The thoughts
& mixed emotions were running wild

THATS IT i can't do this anymore, your heart is too bitter and your ways are so sore

At the clinic now, it's soon gonna be my turn,

Mommy always said "Your better leave these niggaz alone, jus watch you'll learn"

Jacquelyn Anthony.. Ah o its my time,

Everything flashed b4 my eyes like a drop of a dime,"It will be done b4 you kno it" he says...

3 hours later the pain subsides...As i turn to look at him my heart collides

I HATE YOU so much for all the things that you put me thru

Then i wake up back to the same bullshit im use to



As I stood upon the shore of that
sun-setting eve

The Ocean called upon me saying
"Please Stay Dont leave"

His soft roaring voice washed upon
my feet

And as i gazed into his deep blue
eyes my heart then skipped a beat

The silky sand between my toes and
the white foam of his waves

Seemed to lure me into the ocean
and so i gave

I steped boldly into the ocean i
gulped over the lump in my throat

His hands went up to caress my body
until i began to float

He than engulfed me in a titanic
embrace and pulled me down with
him to the bottom of the sea

There he held on, no matter how
much i kicked, he jus wouldnt let
go of me,

I could not breathe, I could barely
move, I only felt his body in motion,

I tried to get to the top, I could not
make it, and there i duluged at the
bottom of the ocean..